Girl Vs Dog.

I was reading some of my old posts yesterday and it seams that the most exciting part of my day is usually the drive in to work in the morning. Today was no exception and it made me think about people’s values and priorities.

I had just filled up with petrol at Manjikes garage and was waiting for a gap in the traffic to join the main road and continue my journey. On the opposite side of the road there were two people who were definitely in panic mode. A woman accompanied by three Dalmatian dogs on leads, and a rather rotund chap wearing a white and orange hooped top (Does my belly look big in this) in charge of two vicious looking Alsations and a tiny terrier type animal with a bow on its furry head.

The terrier had made a break for freedom and was excitedly running in and out of the way of traffic as it progressed in the same direction as the man but at rather greater speed. He was huffing and puffing, shouting after the dog “Primrose, Primrose you bad girl” and waiving his free arm around displaying a very wet armpit.

The traffic was of course slowing down; nobody wanted a tiny terrier with a pink bow stuck to his or her wheel. But once out of the way of the dog the cars carried on their way. As I approached the killing field I dutifully slowed down just as the little bleeder ran into the road again. Watching all this was a woman holding the hand of a delightful little girl with fluffy hair decked out in a splendid summer dress.

She was of course entranced and obviously worried about the little furry animal dicing with death, she did what any entranced child would do, before her mother could stop her she wrenched her hand free and darted into the road to grab the dog.

I was going slowly enough to be able to stop, but the lunatic overtaking me at speed obviously wasn’t, nor could he see past my car and therefore was oblivious to the drama unfolding in the middle of the road.

Your heart is in your mouth now isn’t it, what do you mean no, it should be.

The rotund chap in the garish top had handed the dogs leads to his female companion determined to end this dangerous state of affairs. He saw the little girl run into the traffic, he saw the dog laughing its bollocks of, and he saw the maniac driving at speed bearing down on both. To the tune of chariots of fire he sprinted (Well as fast as a fat bastard can sprint) in front of my car pushing the little girl aside and heroically grabbed the dog out of harms way.

He banged on my car bonnet and glared at me through the windscreen. He was only able to do this because my vehicle was stopped, so how he could lay the blame at my feet I cannot imagine. I got out of the car and grabbed him by the head; I turned his pathetic shaved eyebrowless head toward the little girl who was now thankfully back with her Mother. I can’t remember exactly what it was I screamed at him so I will paraphrase.

“You mindless F**king bastard, you made no attempt to grab that little girl, you F**king pushed past her to get to that F**king poof F**king dog. I should shove the F**king yapping little F**ker up your F**king fat arse.

I can be quite colourful when I want, the little girl thought so too, she turned to her mum and declared “That rather good looking chap in the smart fashionable suit who looks not unlike George Clooney is swearing mummy”. Ok so that last bit was a lie, but she had noticed my language and was informing her mum, however mum was already on her way to where fat bastard and I were stood. Not to admonish me for my expletives but to land a hefty slap to the side of fat bastards head.

I cant say I blame her, in his misguided attempt at saving the dog rather than the human being he had knocked said human being over, therefore doing more damage than probably any car could have done.
As she continued to berate him for his arse upward priorities I returned to my car and carried on my journey. It just shows you how pathetic some people can be when it comes to animals. I like animals but if the choice is man or dog, man wins every time.

The producers of this blog would like to inform you than no animals or children were harmed during the writing of this post.