New lines for old

A rather attractive friend asked me the other day What's your secret for staying so young looking I'm sure I don't know what you mean I replied, well your face is devoid of wrinkles, and I know you haven't had a face lift. I was tempted to say plenty of sex, but it's an old line and she would have seen through that right away.

Actually its very simple I said, eat yourself silly, put on lots of weight, the wrinkles will disappear like magic and its more fun than going under the knife. She seemed a little annoyed at my apparent flippancy so I explained further. Have you ever seen a balloon that has deflated over a period of time? It looks withered and wrinkly, but blow it up again and the wrinkles are gone, it's the same principle.

She looked puzzled, but surely when you loose the weight the wrinkles will reappear won't they. Nope I replied confidently, not anywhere she said, Nope I replied again, nowhere at all she persisted. Well maybe one or two places I admitted but nothing public as it were.

She gave me a sidelong glance, there was a cheeky little smile on her face, are you going to tell me where she said in a girly voice, certainly not I replied, I'm a gentleman. I see she said slyly, and when aren't you a gentleman. I laps a little when I have had a drink I said, she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the runt and strumpet public house, come on I'll buy you a drink.