Bollywood piss up

Tuesday was my birthday so of course I had the odd Strawberry Dachary after which I downed the best part of a bottle of vodka, not all at once of course I paced myself over several hours. The outcome was the same however, I was wrecked and totally unable to consume the chilli Doretoes and cheese provided for me by my charming host at something like five in the morning. I stayed the night (I don’t drink and drive) got up late of course to find myself alone in the house as my host had gone to work.

After a quick coffee I locked up and left only to find that I had left my phone behind. This turned out to be a good move because obviously work couldn’t get hold of me, and boy did they try (twenty five missed calls) so I spent the rest of the day in the garden enjoying the sun and a hair of the dog, several hairs actually.

There was a time when I could have carried on drinking right through to the next day and beyond, but those days have long gone and with each birthday that passes my ability to tolerate large amounts of alcohol declines. It’s good in one way because it costs less to get drunk these days. Now I don’t want you thinking that I have a drink problem, or maybe I do but just don’t realise it, however I only drink perhaps twice a month, sometimes three times its not regular thing. I know some people who can’t get through the day without a drink and mid week drinking to them is just practise for the weekend booz-up.

The company I work for has just bought another company that buys sells and distributes wines and beer, you wont have heard of it but one of the lines is Bollywood beer, made in Germany, but labelled as though it were made in India. It has a very attractive Indian lady dancing on the label. In the next few weeks it will be finding its way into Indian restaurants all over England. Give it a try, its four and a half proof and doesn’t taste at all bad, it’s a little like a light lager and is very moorish.

I have a party to go to soon and with this in mind I asked my MD how much a couple of cases would cost me. I knew it would be cost price or lower but I was quite surprised to hear him say “Take as much as you want sport” BIG MISTAKE. So the car was loaded up and with my back bumper dragging along the ground I made my way home with the booty.

The party will be an all day affair and the chap hosting it has asked me to provide some entertainment, I think he would have drawn the line at his and hers strippers, so instead I have ordered a bouncy castle. It should be fun bouncing up and down with complete strangers, but even more fun as the day wears on watching the more inebriated ones trying to look cool as the they fall off it.

I’m not sure whether to wear my bunny suit for this bash, I will have to see what the weather is going to be like, it might be a hot day and pound to a pinch of human waste I would end up walking around in my shorts. It wouldn’t be the first time.