Shorts

Men unlike women can get very attached to their shorts, usually because they sweat a lot and don’t launder them to often. I don’t have that excuse, with me it’s just a case of comfort, however I noticed this morning that my wearer friendly boxers were looking a little tired and worn. So I inspected them all and found them to be just a little frayed round the waistband and where once they were black, they have become grey. I have a wardrobe full on spanking new five packs of Kalvin Klein so replacement isn’t a problem, wearing them in, is.

Why am I blogging about knickers you might ask? Well it occurred to me that over the years women have had a better deal where nether region apparel is concerned. I goes without saying that a woman will always look better in underwear than a man will, I can go further than that and say from experience that women even look better in men’s underwear than men do.

At the turn of the last century men were completely covered by long johns, fine if you’re an arctic explorer but laughable otherwise, look in any clothing catalogue, even the good looking young male models look daft, and you can see it on their faces. So if they can’t carry it off what chance have lesser mortals got.

The thirties and forties saw the introduction of the big shorts, And I mean big, what on earth were the people who designed these things thinking of, they were bigger even that the wind traps that professional footballers wore and they looked silly. For a time shorts shrank to a manageable size but along with the vests that came with them as a set, were not what you would call sexually inspiring for women. Lets face it most women aren’t that interested in naked men anyway so we are on a looser from the start. No, the best that we can hope for is that somehow the underwear will fill the void before the lights go out.

The advent of the tightly whities didn’t help either, these things are the female equivalent of the big pants girls seem to hate so much these days. But they did the job as it were, an acceptable alternative to wind traps or thongs. Where they went wrong was in the sixties when that enlightened age gave us the string vest with pants to match. I tried them once, took them off immediately and consigned them to the dustbin. There is nothing remotely attractive about little peepholes of skin with hair protruding out everywhere. Not to mention that nipples had a habit of catching in the holes or poking out and being rubbed raw. They became a favourite of road workers who could still wear them even when they had past their best and were tatty. You couldn’t tell where the holes began and the tatt finished.

Thank god Kalvin klein came to the rescue, his shorts are not the ultimate answer but at least you can feel dignified in them. Its all we have until some brain box can come up with something that gives all men a level playing field.

Addendum

Helen has just breezed into the office and read the above. She has suggested a solution to the problem of looking good in shorts. Spend some time in the gym.