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Mental meanderings of an old man

A much needed guide for old farts (who still have it) about doing the wild thing past, present and future. With helpfull insight into the hurt and confusion that wasting 23 years on being married can bring.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Less than 100%.

No post for the last two days, I have been laid up with a bad chest infection and not had the energy to do anything. Couple of other things have gone dickey this week to and just after a check up that gave me the all clear. One of the down sides to being ill (apart from fighting for breath in between throwing up and getting hardly any sleep when you need it most) is that you are not allowed to enjoy your misery. Some kind friend who on hearing of your malaise invariably visits you and proceeds to give you a run down on whets wrong with them. They will ask you how you feel but before you get very far into your tail of whoe will stop you saying “You think that’s bad, I was in agony last week with, blah, blah, blah,

You get a blow by blow account of how they suffered for days, even weeks sometimes, after which they give you their recipe for a cure that cant fail, usually handed down to them by their Grandmother who lived till the ripe old age of thirty six. They nearly always involve the use of Olive oil and some old biddies pop sock wrapped round your neck whilst you sit feet immersed in a bowl of Kangaroo shit mixed with armadillo ear wax. What escaped me is if these remedies are so good, why did they suffer for so long.
I’m just getting older and more susceptible. I think I might be entering my falling apart period, I’ll keep you posted on what goes missing and what falls off.

Labels: buggered, dead, ill, knackered, less than, tired

posted by Dave G at 11:28 am

18 Comments:

Blogger The British Bird. said...

ogod, I wondered where you were. It is with sticky peanut butter and toast fingers I hastely type this, on my way out the door after a last swig of tea. I hope you are feeling better. Hot honey lemon and hot tea, together, in case you didnt know, a shot of whiskey if you can stand it, and chicken soup.
That will fix you up.

Us girls at the coffee shop have come up with a good ad campaign, im not sure that managment would aprove. we want badges that say " we give good foam!"

Himself is heading out the door, and says its a bit nipply outside this morning, fog rolling in so is fall... I said, good I will get mor tips today then.. Hes laughing so hard. will read more of you tonight, take care
bird.

12:31 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Aaaaaaaah!
Poor Dave.
*Sends sympathy and a hot toddy with masses of brandy*

7:36 pm  
Blogger Dave G said...

bird
Your of the same mind as Kaz,hot honey,lemon whisky = Hot toddy.
Chicken soup is about all I can get down, boo hoo

11:58 am  
Blogger Dave G said...

Kaz
I think I quite like being ill, it gets ya mothered by the ladies.

12:00 pm  
Blogger The British Bird. said...

I hope you are feeling better. its the rainy day blah's today, go figure its my day off.. we were going for a bike ride as well.


I can get a lot of blog reading done I suppose.
oh hum..

1:16 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you are feeling better Dave - life has kind of thrown me into craziness here but I still enjoy sitting down and stealing a few minutes to read your stories.

Take care of yourself!

7:50 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

*Shouts as loud as as she can*
RUOK Dave? Has anything dropped off?
I miss you.
Speak to us for God's sake...

8:06 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the love of God man, get out of that miserable weather and move to a warmer place. Here in Los Angeles I never get sick and when I lived in NY I got sick once a year. Seriously, it's time to go!

7:17 am  
Blogger The British Bird. said...

now im worried ...DAVE! are you all right mate?

I hope you havent kicked the bucket!

11:44 pm  
Blogger The Clowns said...

I've been rough as a badger's bum all week too, Dave. Get well soon

10:19 pm  
Blogger Around My Kitchen Table said...

Poor you - but glad you're well enough to write a really funny post. Still laughing.

11:27 pm  
Blogger Anji said...

That has to be warmed olive oil by the way.

8:48 pm  
Blogger Mike said...

I can recommend a good glue if necessary.

8:54 am  
Blogger The British Bird. said...

blimey, im worried.

12:45 am  
Blogger Elaine Denning said...

Helloooooooooooo?

5:45 am  
Blogger buytwitterfollowers said...

Really Great blog. Looking forword more update.

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9:59 am  
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2:43 am  

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Name: Dave G
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Previous Posts

  • Stripes for men.
  • The copper top tart.
  • Rupert the tramp.
  • Asda's Own brand.
  • Triumphs and disasters part 3
  • Not the Trafford shopping centre.
  • Snake woman.
  • Tooth & Nail,
  • Triumphs and disasters part 2
  • An open apology to my Daughter

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