No 1 Dad

I know a little boy who drew a picture for his mum; it was the kind of picture that kids everywhere draw, with crayons and coloured paper. In the picture there was a match stick lady with lots of curly hair and a big smile. On her right was a little figure with a sword in its hand, and to the left of her was another larger figure, this figure had no features and no legs, but had very big hands. The little boys Mum asked him who they were, he thought for a moment, then next to the curly smiley lady he wrote the word Mummy in big letters.

Then he pointed to the little figure with the sword and said, "that's me when I grow up". The Mum pointed to the figure with no legs or face and said, "are those clouds" The little boy scribbled on his drawing obliterating the legless, faceless figure and said, "No that used to be my Dad".

I wonder why we all have to learn from our own mistakes, why cant we learn from other peoples mistakes, that way we would be one jump ahead of everyone else. My Dad always used to tell me that, he was right too, a lesson well learned is of no use to anyone if the mistake that forged that lesson was an important but negative life changer. Then its too late, people get lost along the way, they become strangers, part of another time that you can never return to. It happened to my eldest son, and now I see it happening to my youngest son, and there is nothing I can do about it because they don't listen, they seem intent on learning by their own mistakes and creating pain where none need be.

I ask myself is it the way they were brought up? Did I do something wrong? The thing is, the son I had from my first marriage made exactly the same mistakes, and I wasn't there to advise him, so it couldn't have been my fault.