P of the Pop

I took the girls shopping this morning; I always look forward to this every two weeks. It gives me a chance to spend three hours or more sitting in the car waiting for them whilst I listen to yet more repeats on radio four, (it should be called radio Deja vu) or worse being dragged up and down endless isles full of overpriced tasteless junk.

I suppose that if I didn't do this I would only waste my time doing something useful like earning money, or watching the blonde across the road from me struggling with her petrol lawn mower. I’m not sure why she persists with it; she can never get it going. She once asked for my help after a particularly angry exchange that she had with it one Sunday. I didn’t really want to stick my beak in, but she became quite loud, "eighty bleedin quid this cost and it don’t bleedin work" blonde, yes......refined, no. I gave it the once over, "how long have you had it” I asked, "brand new a couple of month ago, never bleedin worked" she replied "I only bought it cos you don’t have to plug it in". I tried to start it, nothing, " I undid the fuel cap and peered inside the tank, "it’s got no petrol in it" I told her. She didn’t say anything else; she just wheeled it violently back into the house muttering about her eighty quid.

I digress, on our shopping trip we pass the city stadium and of course the B of the Bang sculpture designed by Thomas Heatherwick, paid for by us daft buggers. The sculpture consists of 180 hollow spikes radiating out of a central core. The middle bit was constructed in Sheffield before being hauled over the Pennines. Five of these spikes are anchored to the floor and provide support for the rest of the structure. The sculpture leans at an angle of 30 degrees.

Some of this monstrosity actually hangs over the road that passes by it, and given that since it was first erected several spikes have fallen of through poor welding, and there has been quite a lot of repair work since, can we trust it to stay where it is? Call me a worrier but whatever the tonnage is of that thing, I’m sure those flimsy looking rusty anchor spikes aren’t strong enough to keep it where it is. Its never been painted, so it can only rust more, if there is even a slight breeze it wags from side to side, and the most telling thing is that the construction paraphernalia hasn’t yet been taken away, they obviously know something we don’t. If any more spikes go missing I think it should be renamed P of the Pop.