I told you so.

I met a pal whilst shopping in Asda the other day, as we chatted I noticed that in his basket was a bottle of Grecian 2000. I looked closely at his hair, there was some grey there but nothing I would have thought to worry about. He was banging on about something but I was so occupied with his grey bits that his voice receded into the background, when he stopped talking I didn’t notice, he waved his hand in front of my face and asked if I was ok.

Now every woman knows that men don’t take advice, they may ask for it, but in fact what they want is confirmation that what they think is correct. If they don’t get that then the advice is bad, simple really. Another thing women know is that men are always right, if the outside world differs from their inside world, then the outside world is wrong.

This being the case it follows that almost every man who has tried Grecian 2000 knows that it doesn’t work, and was told so by someone who knew this to be a fact. Well it kind of works but the best you can hope for is that your once distinguished grey bits don’t turn out looking like Brillo pads. It’s a forlorn hope but men being men will hang on with a death like grip to the chance of reversing the years for the price of a packet of fags.

I have grey, not a lot but what I have whilst not looking too bad close up, from a distance makes me look like I am wearing a brimless bowler hat. Not attractive. At least I thought not. And so with the advice of several friends who had tried it and come unstuck ringing in my ears I went ahead and bought a bottle.

Grecian 2000 grooms and conditions hair. Day by day Grecian gradually restores your natural-looking colour. You can stop at any time and leave a little grey, or keep going until all the grey is gone. There's no mixing, no mess. Apply daily for 2-3 weeks and you'll get the exact colour that's perfect for you. Does not stain the skin


That’s what is said on the bottle, however, how does it know what your natural colour is? There may be no mixing. But without doubt there is a lot of shaking involved. As for the mess that depends on how you apply it. Forget applying it with a comb, that doesn’t work, the liquid runs down the back of your hand and turns it black. I used a toothbrush, far more accurate I thought, I thought wrong. I also thought I was using an old toothbrush, I wasn’t.

Basically the stuff gets everywhere; it flicked of the toothbrush and peppered my bathroom wall with black spots. It dripped from my hands and stained my sink. It turned my ears black, later my teeth black (I’d forgotten I had used my current toothbrush) in fact everything it touched turned black. Everything that is except my grey bits, which stubbornly refused to be any colour but grey.

Of course I warned my pal, He just laughed and said “You must have been doing something wrong”. I replied “I was only wrong to buy it in the first place, vanity got the better of me just as it has you and I came unstuck”. He didn’t listen, well he wouldn’t would he, he is a man.