Because I can

I'm often asked why I got into the Lollipop man game, is it the uniform? No, is it the bright (traffic) lights? No, though they can be a help. Is it the glamour? Again no. All of these things can be a pull for some people, but for me its actually the power that waving a bloody great Day-Glo lollipop around gives you.

Not for me waiting until a reasonably sized group of Mothers and children wish to cross that most dangerous of places the school crossing. Oh no, I will jump out in front of unsuspecting motorists and stop them in their tracks if I even suspect that someone on the other side of the road wants to cross, I mean, why stop traffic twice when you can stop it twenty times. And nothing gives you the feeling of absolute control when having stopped the poor buggers, probably for the umpteenth time on their journey to work. Than to stand there proud and tall in the middle of the road chatting to the mums and sneering at the drivers as you pat kiddies on the head.

Yes its a great life being an arsehole, but I have to say that the real reason I donned the yellow hat is because it gives me a distinct advantage with the ladies. You would be amazed how many unmarried Mums there are out there, single ladies who don’t have a man in their lives and rarely if ever get to meet any due to a lack of any kind of social life. They make the school trip twice a day and the only excitement they get is dressed in bright yellow and orange and has a huge great lollipop in his hand. As I said before, the uniform and the glamour mean nothing to me, but they are a beacon to my ladies. The expression moths to a flame springs to mind.

Being the object of adoration is a big Responsibility, which I don’t take lightly, nor do any of us lollipop people. We are nationwide; we are on a corner near you.