Miserable bleeder.

I went to renew my car insurance yesterday. It's a bit of a pain in the arse because the insurance company I use has nowhere to park. It’s on the main road, which usually means a ticket, so that any money I save on using this company is offset by the parking fine. Stupid really but I still do it.

As I approached the desk a very lovely young blonde in a smart, almost strict two piece suit smiled and asked if she could do anything for me. I managed to smile back and keep what I was thinking to myself. I informed her why I was there and asked about an alternative policy to the one I already had. As I admired her spotless white blouse, which was attempting to escape from and threatening to spoil the cut of her well-tailored jacket, she said “One moment while I bring your account up on the computer”. As she tapped away with blood red manicured nails that exactly matched her lipstick she pushed one of her cheeks out from the inside of her mouth with a pink wet tongue.

She shoved an A4 form in front of me and asked me to fill my details in. As I wrestled with the cheap pen on a chain attached to the counter she walked over to a desk to get something and it was then that I noticed her stocking clad legs, yes guys, stockings with seams. Most guys are, and I know for sure that I am, a sucker for seamed stockings (On the right legs of course). My heart was in my mouth; other bits of my anatomy had rearranged themselves too. I was completely ready for my epiphany, when she came back; she leaned seductively across the counter and launched into her spiel.

At this point she could have sold me anything, and I would gladly have paid up, no questions asked. But she had to spoil it all by opening her mouth. This is what came out (Paraphrasing of course).
“At the moment yeah? you have the basic yeah? policy yeah?, its not upgradable as such yeah? but we can give you yeah? a discount on the time yeah? that you’re old policy yeah? Has left to run yeah?

My attention was diverted from her tits to her face, and the blood-racing round my frail body was diverted from where it had been to my ears. “I’m not sure what it was you said” She rolled her beautiful eyes and once again tried to communicate in what I can only assume is modern speak and an ever growing problem amongst young people these days.
“You’re old policy yeah? Only has a month yeah? To run yeah? So it can’t be upgraded yeah? To a new one yeah? You will have to take out yeah? A completely different yeah? Policy yeah? cos the limit yeah? On upgrading yeah? Is two yeh? Month ok? The ok came as a bit of a surprise in a landscape of yea’s

By using the word yeah every other word she had managed to ask eleven questions to my one, not counting the Ok which is itself, a question. I looked round for help, the place was empty but for her. Had it been a man and not an attractive young woman I would have called him a moron and walked out. As it was, the gentleman in me prevented my lambasting her inarticulation. That and the fact that I am a sucker for seamed stockings (On the right legs of course) and the base animal in me that can’t or won’t give up when my sexual hackles have been raised, stopped me from being rude to her. Instead I just said that I needed air and walked out.

Call me easily offended but it seems to me that inserting the yeah word between every other word when explaining something to someone infers (By the explainer) that the person it is being explained to is as thick as pig shit. And therefor one has to qualify that they understand fragmented sentences of two or more words before proceeding.

The only other explanation is that the misuse of the word yeah gives the user thinking time. Either way I’m not impressed not even when seamed stockings (On the right legs of course) are used.