Greed by the sea.

Have you ever noticed that whatever seaside town you visit in this great country of ours, should you make the mistake of buying chips, and we all do, without fail they are always an orange colour, smell of week old kebabs and taste rancid. This has to be because they rarely if ever change the cooking fat, presumably because that would cut into the nine hundred percent profit they make on this rubbish. It’s the same with ice cream, very small portions at a very big price, and they never look like the picture on the van.

Turn on the news and you are bound to see some resort council member bemoaning the fact that people just don’t visit the seaside anymore, and It doesn’t surprise me at all. They are pricing themselves out of business, greed got the better of them years ago and now they are reaping the rewards. Not too long ago I took a trip to Spain for a couple of weeks, total cost including air fair and hotel £560, The same year I made the mistake of going to Blackpool for three days, total cost £600. So here is a run down of just some of the most popular seaside attractions and what they have to offer.

Blackpool: overpriced and tatty. New Brighton: shut. Rhyl: Boarded up and crime infested. Scarborough: cold grey and hilly, though I have to admit the Grande Hotel is worth a visit even if it’s a little tired. Morecambe: a none event really, best thing about it is the sea. Southport: great if you like sand. Great Yarmouth: probably the answer to our overcrowded jails.

Give me the sun and the blue sea of the Mediterranean every time, where the beer fags, clothes, and virtually everything else is cheap or reasonably priced, the portions are large and where you are served with a smile and genuine interest. Instead of the sullen grumpiness that is the norm in this country.